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Repercussions Reactions and Retaliation

Book I

Prologue

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Xander Harris was tired. He rubbed his eyes and looked up from Willow’s laptop, his eyes traveling the austere room without finding anything of interest. ‘Why the hell did deadboy even have a dining table in the first place, it’s not like he ate...’ Xander thought.

He was seated at the long, heavy table in what would have been the formal dining room when the mansion had human inhabitants. The table and chairs were the only furniture in the room, which was otherwise completely bare of any adornment. ‘Maybe it came with the place...’ he thought. ‘It’s not like he did any decorating in here. Not that he did much in any of the rooms. I guess stark and empty is better for brooding.’

Xander looked at the time on the computer screen, as he had been doing almost every thirty seconds for the last half hour. ‘Just a couple minutes now...Every hour, on the hour; Giles said they’d log on every hour and wait five minutes for us to check in. With Willow and the other three asleep, I totally spaced it!’ he berated himself, too tired to work up much more than mild self-recrimination. ‘He’s probably freaking out, not to mention poor Dawn and Mrs. Summers; wondering if we survived, wondering if they have to worry about Glory any more...jeeze, now I feel really guilty!’

He looked out the archway into the main room of Angel’s mansion, knowing that just out of his line of sight was the couch on which Faith was sleeping. He had spent some time earlier watching the dark haired Slayer sleep, trying to avoid Morpheus arms himself. ‘She looks so different asleep,’ he thought. ‘Younger, more peaceful...not such a tough girl really. Not that I’d ever say that to her when she’s awake!’

Xander’s face broke into a melancholy smile as he remembered carrying Willow into the master bedroom, ‘Poor Will, she looked tired even while she was sleeping. Buffy barely made it in on her own power...I knew she was tired when she let Angel carry Tara in for her. I bet they sleep late tomorrow.’

The computer beeped at him, breaking him out of his daze. He looked down to see a message box asking him if he wanted to join a video conference with username Dustyoldbooks. ‘I still can’t believe Willow stuck him with that name!’ Xander thought with a chuckle. ‘She did warn him; he should have learned how to set up his own username! I wonder if she made his password something embarrassing?’

Shaking his head at his wandering thoughts, Xander clicked the ‘yes’ button and was immediately rewarded with the worried face of Buffy’s Watcher filling the conference window.

“Xander! Thank God! Good Lord, man, we’ve been waiting for hours!” The tired Scooby could see annoyance warring with relief in the Watcher’s face. “Is everyone alright? Were you successful? Where is everyone?”

“Yes, yes, and sleeping,” Xander answered with a wry grin at the normally stolid Brit’s agitation. “Good to see you too, G-man,”

Giles blinked several times, seeming at a loss as what to say. After a moment, he took off his glasses and rubbed at his face as though fatigued. Xander was unable to stifle a yawn of his own in response.

“Everyone’s alright then?” Giles asked again.

“No injuries for the home team,” Xander said, forcing a smile onto his face.

‘Which isn’t the same as everyone’s alright...’ the younger man thought, once again repressing the turmoil that had his guts churning.

“Cordy, Gunn, Wes and deadboy all went back to LA, Faith’s racked out on the couch and Buffy, Willow and Tara are in bed...sleeping for once,” Xander explained.

A hint of a grin came across Giles’ face at that observation, though he made no comment on the subject. “So, th-the enjoining spell worked then?” he asked.

“Plan worked, world saved,” Xander quipped. ‘I actually feel pretty good about that...’

“Glorificus?” Giles asked in a deceptively mild tone.

‘That would be the part I feel less good about...’ Xander thought miserably. “It went down just like you thought it would,” he said quietly.

“She retreated into her human host?” Giles asked.

Xander nodded, once again seeing the face in his thoughts. ‘I really could do without reliving this again. And again, and again...’

“And?” Giles prompted when Xander remained silent for several moments.

“I recognized him,” Xander said flatly, forcing his emotion down inside. “It was this intern from the hospital...I remember him from when Mrs. Summers was sick...”

“Xander...” Giles began.

“His name was Ben,” Xander continued, ignoring the older man. “He was...he couldn’t talk, but I could see his lips moving...begging...”

“Xander,” Giles again interjected.

Again, Xander continued, ignoring the interruption. “I almost couldn’t do it...then I had this image...Dawn...Glory...she had this look, like she was looking right into my eyes as Glory...”

Xander squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to erase the images from his mind. ‘God! This is killing me! I...I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to feel...’ The roiling emotions inside him mixed into such a mess that one became indistinguishable from the other. ‘All I’m sure of is that I feel bad and empty and sick...’

Opening his eyes, Xander focused back on the image of Giles. When he spoke, it was with an intensity that sought to pound his pain and rage and confusion into the older man. “I stuck a knife through his heart and I watched him die.” His breath caught in an aborted sob as he went on, “Then I threw his body on a pile of demons, stuck a willy pete under him, pulled the pin and got the hell out of there.”

‘Words...they don’t...it just sounds like nothing when I say it like that...how do you explain something like this?’ Xander wondered.

“It is a terrible burden that I’ve asked you to bear, Xander. You have to know that I would never have done so if there were another way...” Giles said, his voice ragged and strained.

“I know...” Xander said, fatigue rendering him unable to hide the sadness from his voice any longer.

A strange feeling of resigned despair crept through Xander’s soul. ‘I know he would have done it himself, it’s not his fault...‘It had to be done, I know that. I just don’t know how to live with it...’

“I have been in your situation myself, Xander; and as difficult as it is to imagine right now, you can get through this,” Giles said in a reassuring tone of voice. “You will get through this...”

“Look, can we not do this right now?” Xander interrupted. “I’m beat. We can go through the details tomorrow, ok?” Xander dropped his gaze down to the keyboard, unable to meet the Watcher’s eyes any longer. ‘Please, G-man. Just drop it,’ he thought, physically and emotionally exhausted.

Though not looking at his face, Xander could detect the disappointment in Giles tone as he answered, “Very well, Xander. Perhaps we could schedule another call tomorrow morning?”

Locking all the difficult and painful feelings into a little mental box, Xander attempted an approximation of his normal, comical demeanor. “Newsflash G-man, it’s already tomorrow morning. How about two-ish, that should give the girls enough sleep...” Mentally he added, ‘and enough time for a little wakeup nookie!’

“Very well, I suppose we could all do with a bit of a lie-in for once...” Giles said, resignation clear in his voice even over the computer. “I will pass on the glad news to Joyce and Dawn, and we shall call in at two p.m. tomorrow.”

“Ok, G-man. See you at two.” Xander said with a yawn and a stretch.

“Oh, one last thing Xander,” Giles said.

“What?” Xander asked, fatigue weighing ever more heavily on him.

“Don’t call me G-man,” Giles said, and then the conference window went black.

Xander was startled into a chuckle as the popup read: ‘Dustyoldbooks has disconnected.’

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“...and we shall call in at two p.m. tomorrow.”

Dawn stumbled back to her room as she overheard Giles ending his conference call with Xander. She had her left hand clasped over her own mouth in order to restrain the sobs threatening to erupt and her right arm was wrapped around her stomach, clutching tightly at the terrible ache she felt.

When she reached the sanctuary of her bedroom, she threw herself onto the bed and buried her face in the soft pillow. Her slender frame was wracked with harsh sobs as she wept.

‘Oh God, poor Xander!’ she lamented. ‘He sounded so hurt!’

For a moment as she had eavesdropped on the call, She’d felt warm affection at the inherent gallantry in Xander’s actions. ‘That just makes it even worse...it’s all because of me. He had to kill that man to protect me!’

After a moment, Dawn began to try to contain her tears, knowing that Giles would be coming in to tell her about Glory’s defeat. ‘It must have been terrible...How am I ever going to make it up to him?’ ’ she wondered as she tried to wipe away the tears from her face.

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Chapter 1

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Buffy gradually awoke, feeling languorous and dreamy. ‘Mmm, feels nice,’ she thought. ‘All snug and warm...I could just lay right here forever.’

The Slayer slowly opened her eyes and saw Willow’s face within inches of her own. The red-haired witch was staring at Buffy with a look of adoration in her heavily lidded eyes, and the blonde felt her mouth stretch into a smile, her heart beating a little faster at the sight.

“Mmm, hi there,” Willow said in a relaxed, slumberous tone.

“God, Willow!” Buffy softly whispered. “You...just opening my eyes and seeing your face makes me so happy!”

“My Mistress...” Willow crooned, sliding her hand along the leg Buffy had draped over hers. “My lover...my life!” the redhead continued. “May I wish you a proper good morning, Mistress?”

‘A smile, a touch...and I’m just gone!’ Buffy thought, feeling her body respond instantly to her pet’s request. The Slayer brought her hand up along Willow’s back until she was gently cradling the redhead’s neck. She pulled her pet in for a sweet, gentle kiss before answering, “Now how could I say no to that, pet?”

Willow giggled and slid down in the bed to suckle at Buffy’s breast.

‘Oh, my Mistress awakes!’ Buffy thought as she felt a hand slide up into her hair from behind.

Buffy’s eyes slid shut as her head was pulled back and she heard her Mistress’ voice in her ear.

“Morning Slayer,” Tara whispered.

Tara’s warm breath in her ear caused Buffy to shudder. “Oohh! M-morning, Mistress,” Buffy said, stuttering as her own pet began to nibble on her left nipple.

“I love watching the two of you together,” Tara continued her breathy whisper. You are both so beautiful!

Buffy felt Willow smile against the soft flesh of her chest, but her wicked pet didn’t let up on her ministrations for a moment. “Mmm, thank you Mistress!” she hummed, joyous at her Mistress’ compliment and buzzing on her pet’s attentions.

“Roll on your back, pet so I can see better,” Tara growled, her voice sounding thick with arousal.

‘God I love being me!’ Buffy thought happily as she complied.

Willow sucked hard on Buffy’s breast as the Slayer moved, causing a loud, slurping pop as the blonde pulled away.

‘Rude, crude and *so* sexy!’ Buffy thought with a lusty growl.

Buffy was distracted from any comment she might have made when Willow nipped at the soft bit of flesh below the Slayer’s navel, causing Buffy to gasp sharply.

“Oohh!” Tara groaned. “Your pet’s in a mood, Slayer. I think she’s begging for a spanking, don’t you?”

“Oh, absoluuuuuutely!” Buffy agreed, moaning as Willow’s tongue slid over her dribbling sex.

The redhead laved her Mistress’ vulva with long, strong licks. She noisily slurped up Buffy’s overflowing wetness, driving the Slayer mad with desire.

“Love your tongue, pet! Feels. So. Good!” Buffy growled, her hips undulating as her pet pushed her ever closer to climax.

Tara leaned in and softly spoke into Buffy’s ear once again, saying, “When your pet is done eating you, I want her to eat me while you suck on my breasts, Slayer.”

Tara’s dirty talk pushed Buffy over the edge and she came with a loud cry. ‘God! Every time, *so* good!’ she thought as Willow continued to lick and suck, prolonging the blonde’s orgasm for long moments.

After catching her breath, Buffy groaned out, “Oh pet, you’re so *good* at that! God I love your tongue on me!”

Willow sat up on her knees and giggled. Her mouth and chin were shiny with Buffy-sauce and she was wearing a delighted grin. “Thank you Mistress!” she said in a happy voice. “You taste so good, I love it when you let me do that to you!”

Buffy looked up at her own Mistress and both she and Tara shook their heads. “When I *let* her...” Buffy mumbled, marveling at her pet.

Tara had a look of awe on her own face as she said, “We are so blessed!”

‘God, how did I ever manage to deserve these two?’ Buffy wondered, not for the first time.

“Mistress, May I clean my pet’s face before I have her service you?” Buffy asked, putting herself into submissive mode.

Tara smiled. “Hmm, let’s share, Slayer” she said in a low, seductive tone.

Turning to her own pet, Buffy licked her lips and said, “Come up here, pet. Lady Tara and I are gonna clean off your messy face!”

“Oh thank you, Mistress!” Willow said, bouncing excitedly and swiftly crawling up between Buffy and Tara.

‘There’s something so hot about tasting myself on your skin,’ Buffy thought as she licked clean the left side of Willow’s face. ‘Not to mention the way you practically purr when I do it!’

Buffy finished cleaning and went further, nibbling and sucking on Willow’s earlobe. She then growled low and quiet in her pet’s ear, “I love your magical tongue, pet. I love the way you use it to make me cum screaming!”

Willow’s whimper made Buffy even more excited. “I want you to use that talent on my Mistress, pet. Would you like that?” she crooned into the redhead’s ear.

“Oh yes, Mistress!” Willow exclaimed in a breathy voice.

Buffy snaked a hand down between Willow’s thighs, thinking, ‘Mmm hmm, thought so!’ as she felt her pet’s overflowing sex. She easily slipped two fingers inside the trembling girl, eliciting a gasp and drenching her hand in Willow’s honey.

“Does that get you hot?” Buffy crooned. “Hmm? Does the thought of licking Lady Tara’s dripping pussy make you all wet?”

“Oh goddess yes, Mistress. So very wet!” Willow cried in a soft voice.

“I can tell!” Buffy said, adding a third finger inside her pet’s sopping wet tunnel and pumping rapidly.

“Oh please Mistress!” Willow cried. “Please may I pleasure your Mistress?”

“Sit up pet,” Buffy said, pulling out her fingers.

“Yes Mistress!” Willow whimpered, moving to obey.

Buffy glanced at Tara’s lust-filled eyes and then dropped her gaze submissively. “See Mistress? See what the thought of tasting you does to my pet?” she asked, offering her drenched hand to the blonde witch.

Tara hummed low in her throat and then whispered, “Lick it up, Slayer!”

“Yes, Mistress!” Buffy said.

Just as the petite blond was about to suck her pet’s honeyed juices from her hand, Tara ordered, “Don’t swallow it.”

Buffy couldn’t resist a quick glance up at her Mistress’ face. ‘Oh dear God!’ she thought, seeing the absolutely wicked grin on Tara’s face. ‘I am so wet again already!’

The moment Buffy was done lapping her hand clean, her Mistress grabbed her by her hair and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

‘Tara tongue and sweet Willowy goodness! I so love my life!’ Buffy mentally shouted, her body buzzing with arousal and her heart overflowing with absolute joy and love.

Tara broke the kiss, leaving Buffy cross-eyed and breathless, and rolled onto her back. Buffy panted, “Pet...begin...”

“Yes Mistress!” Willow happily cried as she scrambled to obey. “Lady Tara, may I...?”

“Goddess yes!” Tara interjected, her voice sounding desperate.

Buffy eagerly latched on to one of Tara’s erect nipples when her Mistress pushed her head in that direction. She sucked strongly while nibbling ever-so gently on the left, and took the right between her thumb and forefinger, rolling it around and around.

Between Buffy’s ministrations on Tara’s turgid nipples, and Willow’s oral assault on the blonde witch’s sex, Buffy’s Mistress was arching and writhing, her voice a symphony of moans, groans, gasps and cries. After long minutes of continual stimulation, Tara went rigid and cried out her release.

Buffy had a vision cross her mind as her Mistress shuddered. She released Tara’s nipple with one last hard suck, and then moved her head up to whisper in the blonde witch’s ear, “Mistress, may I take my pet from behind while she makes you cum again?”

Tara was still twitching and her voice was rough with desire as she answered. “Oh, Slayer, that’s a wonderful idea! Do that! Do it now!”

Buffy felt a warm, delicious flush move through her whole body. “Thank you Mistress!” she cried gladly, jumping up off of the bed.

“Pet, make Lady Tara cum again!” Buffy commanded her red-haired lover.

Willow’s “Yes Mistress, Thank you Mistress!” was muffled by Tara’s thrusting pelvis, but was still audible thanks to Buffy’s enhanced hearing.

The petite blond laughed delightedly as she skipped over to their luggage, thankful that someone had bothered to bring it in for them the previous night. She opened their toy box and pulled out her pet’s massive toy, dubbed ‘witchslayer’- twelve inches of orange and purple silicone in a spiral shape.

‘Damn this thing gives me shivers! I don’t know how it even fits inside her, but she loves it!’ Buffy thought as she stared at the huge dildo. Shaking off her contemplation, she quickly donned the specially made harness and fitted the toy into place.

Stroking the length of the toy, Buffy looked up at the bed, and the redhead laying between her Mistress’ legs. ‘Oh God! You look so hot!’ she thought at the sight of her pet’s head bobbing up and down as she pleasured Lady Tara.

Caressing her way up Tara’s body with her eyes, Buffy caught her blonde lover’s gaze. ‘Mmm, she’s about to cum again!’ the Slayer thought happily. ‘God, Tara...you’re so beautiful like this...’ Buffy’s heart thumped hard as love and desire flowed through her. ‘...your eyes half closed as Willow drives you mad with pleasure, your pouty lips open as you gasp and moan...ohhh! I love it when you do that!’ Buffy moaned at the sight of Tara pulling at her own nipples, twisting and pinching as she neared her release.

Tara looked down at the strap-on Buffy was sporting and gave a loud groan as she came at the same time.

Buffy moved behind where Willow was laying on the bed and crawled up, pushing the redhead’s legs apart to kneel between them.

Buffy again caught her Mistress’ gaze and held it. “Keep going pet, I want you to make Lady Tara cum one more time!” the Slayer instructed her pet.

Tara’s face reflected lust, desire, and a touch of ‘I’m in so much trouble!’ as she whimpered loudly.

‘That look, that noise! Dear God you are *so* sexy!’ Buffy thought as she looked upon her Mistress with adoration.

Turning to the matter at hand, Buffy grabbed Willow by the hips and lifted her to her knees, leaving the redhead’s face buried in between Tara’s thighs. The Slayer pushed her pet’s thighs together and slid her strap-on between them, rubbing along the kneeling girl’s most intimate flesh without entering her...yet.

“You’re so wet, pet!” Buffy moaned as she lubricated the fake cock in Willow’s dripping juices.

Willow’s loud moan was audible even muffled against Tara’s sex.

Buffy continued rubbing against Willow’s pussy and stomach, waiting for her to finish off Tara. “Come on pet, make her cum again, use that tongue, drive her wild! I want you to make my Mistress scream!” Buffy growled out.

Willow’s head began shaking rapidly back and forth, and whatever she was doing, it certainly seemed to be succeeding in driving Tara wild.

The blonde witch began chanting “Oh, goddess! Oh, goddess!” and her body was undulating frantically. She was pulling at her own nipples, distending her breasts out and away from her body as she writhed in passion.

“Oh Mistress! You’re so beautiful!” Buffy cried hotly, seeing the tears of passion in Tara’s beautiful blue eyes as the witch locked gazes with her. The Slayer bit her lip at the sheer magnificence of watching her Mistress scream through her third orgasm.

‘God I love you two so much!’ Buffy thought, feeling her heart squeeze with overwhelming joy. She pulled back and lifted the head of her strap-on toy, rubbing it over Willow’s vulva as she crooned, “You’re so good at that pet! God, I love your tongue so much...I know Lady Tara does too!”

The blonde witch was still crying and panting, but managed to gasp out, “Oh goddess yes. So good Willow!”

Buffy pushed her massive toy into her pet, slowly but steadily filling the redhead. ‘I still can’t believe this huge thing even fits inside you!’ she thought in wonder.

Willow let out a low, wordless cry as Buffy penetrated her.

Once fully buried in her pet, Buffy leaned over the girl’s back, pressing her breasts into Willow’s gloriously pale skin and whispering, “You like that big cock, pet? You like it when I stuff your pussy so full that you can’t possibly take another inch?”

Buffy could feel her pet shivering as she responded to the Slayer’s dirty-talk. “Oh goddess yes, Mistress! I love it so much!”

Buffy slid her hands underneath Willow and cupped her small breasts. She pulled the redhead up with her as she straightened upright. “You want me to move, pet? Want me to pound this toy inside you until you go insane with pleasure?” she whispered in the redhead’s ear.

“Please! Oh, please Mistress?” Willow gasped; her voice sounding hoarse and desperate.

Buffy pulled out a couple inches and then snapped her hips, driving the toy back in to the hilt. Willow’s grunt as the Slayer’s harness-clad pelvis smacked against her ass inflamed Buffy’s arousal. She wrapped her left arm tightly around the redhead’s body, grasping the witch’s right nipple and pinching it tightly. The blonde’s right hand delved into the mop of red hair and pulled her head back so Buffy could taste her pet’s mouth.

“Mmm, I love the taste of Lady Tara on your lips pet!” the Slayer growled as she began to repeat her short, snapping movements with her hips. Buffy started licking her Mistress’ juices from her own pet’s mouth and cheeks, all the while driving the enormous silicone cock in and out of the lithe redhead’s dripping center.

Willow’s face was a rictus of pleasure as Buffy dominated her so thoroughly. Grunts and moans were the only sounds she seemed capable of as Buffy pounded her.

After she’d finished cleaning her pet’s messy face, Buffy let go the handful of red hair and crossed her right arm over her left to take hold of Willow’s left nipple; pinching and pulling on it as she already was the right.

Willow whimpered and cried as Buffy took her. ‘God, that’s music to my ears!’ Buffy thought lustfully. ‘I love the sounds she makes when she’s like this, lost in the pleasure.’

“You’re so damn sexy, pet!” Buffy rumbled in the witch’s ear. “I want you so bad, every time I see you I think of taking you like this! God, I love you *so much*!”

Willow whined loudly and panted, “Love you Mistress!”

Buffy kissed her pet along her neck, sucking in and gently biting the pale flesh just behind and below the delicate shell of Willow’s left ear.

This prompted the panting redhead to cry out, “Oh goddess, Mistress! I’m yours!”

‘I am *so* the luckiest girl in the whole world!’ Buffy thought gleefully.

Buffy released her pet’s neck and looked at the mark she’d left behind. ‘I so love marking you, pet. You and Tara both; I don’t even blush anymore when I see it later...now it just turns me on!’

Growling in Willow’s ear, Buffy said, “You wanna cum pet? Hmm, you ready to let loose?”

Another loud whine burst from Willow’s panting mouth and she cried, “Yes! Yes Mistress! Oh goddess, please Mistress!”

‘Mmm, I love to hear you beg! I can never deny you, Willow, but I do love to hear it...so sexy!’ Buffy thought, shuddering in desire.

“You want to, but you can’t, can you?” Buffy crooned, drawing things just a little more.

“N-no Mistress,” Willow stuttered, her voice ragged. “Nuh-not till you s-s-say-ay-ay!”

‘I never get tired of hearing that!’ Buffy thought. ‘I’m always so amazed that you could totally give yourself to me like that!’

Buffy let go Willow’s right nipple and moved her hand across the pale skin of her sexy tummy, down to the wet flesh she was sliding in and out of from behind. Wetting her fingers in the copious honey flowing from the redhead, Buffy pushed against the stiffly swollen clit, pressing it down so that the motion of the dildo would rub against it.

Just before letting her whimpering, trembling pet have her release, Buffy looked at her own Mistress who lay before the redhead, eyes wide and glazed with desire.

‘Again, Mistress?’ Buffy thought with a mental smirk as she noted that the blonde witch was vigorously pistoning two fingers in and out of her own sloppy-wet center. ‘You’re such a glutton for it this morning!’

“Look at Lady Tara, pet. Look what it’s doing to her, watching me take you like this!” Buffy said excitedly. “I want you to look right in her eyes, pet. I want her to see you cum so hard that the walls shake!”

A loud, inarticulate moan was Willow’s response.

“Cum pet!” Buffy commanded.

Willow’s piercing shriek filled the air, and Buffy’s vision was erased in a flash of white light.

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Pulse pounding, Xander could feel his heart hammering in his throat as he ran. His breath came in gasps, his lungs burning as he tried to push himself onward.

‘Oh God! Help me! Gotta get away!’ he thought frantically.

He could hear the footsteps behind him, chasing him, drawing inexorably closer as his body wore out.

Fear’s icy talons clawed at his bowels as the pursuer called out, “I’m coming for you!” It was all Xander could do not to piss himself in terror as the voice continued; sounding like it was right behind him, “You can’t get away from me!”

“Oh God!” Xander whimpered, trying to push his exhausted body just a little faster. The panic churning in his gut was making the bile rise up, burning his throat, choking him as he struggled to breathe. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he darted a quick glance over his shoulder and saw...

Nothing.

“Huh?” he muttered, confused.

He looked again and saw the same thing, only this time, his exhausted body failed to maintain coordination and he tripped over his own feet, falling.

Time seemed to slow as Xander turned his head back forward to look where he was falling toward.

Xander let out a screech of terror as he saw, not the ground rushing up to meet him, but the beaten and bloody corpse of Ben, Mortal host of the goddess Glorificus; the man he’d killed.

Xander was still shrieking up till the moment he landed on the body. Somehow the knife Xander had driven through Ben’s heart was still there, and the handle drove into Xander’s solar plexus.

Xander’s lungs emptied in one agonizing gasp, cutting off his scream and leaving him gagging for air.

Gulping like a fish out of water, Xander looked at Ben’s face just as his eyelids opened. One eye was nothing but a pit of ruination, yet somehow seemed to focus on Xander along with the good one as the dead man spoke.

“You murdered me!” Ben said, and the accusation in his voice was like the weight of the world on Xander’s already battered conscience.

‘I’m sorry! Oh God, I’m so sorry!’ Xander wretchedly cried out in his thoughts, still unable to speak but feeling bitter remorse and fear flooding his mind and heart.

“Now it’s your turn,” Ben’s voice rang out in a proclamation of doom. The corpse’s bloody hands reached up and encircled Xander’s neck.

Xander struggled weakly, his body devoid of strength, while Ben’s cold, dead fingers tightened around his throat. ‘Oh God, I don’t want to die!’ he cried silently. Terror overwhelmed him as his vision darkened. ‘Please, Buffy, Willow, somebody save me! No! No! No!’

As his vision went black, Xander suddenly felt someone’s hands on his shoulders, shaking him, and a voice shouting, “Xander! Snap out of it X-man!”

Xander’s eyes blinked open and he saw Faith straddling him and shaking his shoulders. A gasp turned into a panicked inhale as he tried to fill his lungs after nearly being choked to death.

“Faith!” Xander rasped, panting deeply. “Where am I? What the hell is going on?!” he demanded, still muzzy and confused. His eyes darted all over the room looking for his murder victim/attacker.

Faith got off of him, kneeling at his side as she explained, “Dude, you were having a wicked nightmare!”

“Nightmare?” Xander cried out as he jerked himself up to a sitting position. With that one word, realization began to set in.

‘Deadboy’s mansion,’ he remembered where he was. “Oh God, it was just a dream,” he whispered, feeling the icy residue of adrenaline flowing through his body.

“Your heart’s going like a freakin’ airhammer, man!” Faith said. “What the hell were you dreaming about?”

Xander briefly glanced up to meet the dark Slayer’s eyes before dropping them back to the rug on which he had fallen asleep early that morning. ‘God, if anyone would understand how I feel...but I can’t. Can’t let the girls find out, they’d hate me!’ Xander thought miserably.

“I, uh...sometimes I get...soldier dreams,” Xander mumbled quietly, picking at the fibers in the rug with his fingers.

“Soldier dreams, you mean from when you guys got turned into your Halloween costumes?” Faith asked in surprise.

Xander just nodded his head. ‘It’s not a lie, I do get soldier dreams, this just wasn’t one of those...’ he justified to himself.

“That sucks,” Faith said, standing up and walking over to the couch she’d been sleeping on, thankfully not pressing the issue.

“What time is it?” Xander asked, trying to shake off the dream and move on to other subjects.

“Dunno, around noon I guess. Sun’s up high,” Faith answered.

Rubbing his eyes to clear away any crusties, Xander headed for the courtyard and walked out into the sunshine. ‘Ahh, blissful, warm sunshine!’ Xander thought, closing his eyes and turning his face towards the sun. He stretched out his arms as though embracing the sky and just stood there for several minutes.

“What are you doing?” Faith’s quizzical voice rolled across the courtyard.

“Sunshine chases the nightmares away,” Xander said, not thinking to censor his words from the subject of his dreams.

“Yeah?” Faith asked in a quiet voice.

Xander nodded silently.

It took longer than normal, but eventually Xander felt the last of the fear and horror of the dream fade away as he basked in the warm solar rays. He dropped his arms and lowered his head, opening his eyes. As he turned, a smile stole across his face at the sight of Faith, standing as he had been.

‘I wonder if it’s some kind of rule; all slayers must be grade A1 hotties,’ Xander thought. ‘Buffy’s got the whole California beach babe look, Kendra was a Jamaican beauty, Faith’s a total sexbomb...’

Images from their one night together flashed across his mind

‘...with extra emphasis on the bomb! Talk about explosive!’ he added. ‘Ya’know, now that I think about it, pretty much every girl I hang around is a babe, Willow’s hot...Tara’s hot, now that she dropped the whole mousy thing. Even Dawn is turning into quite the sexy little hottie...and I did *not* just think that! God, I think I just shortened my life by a decade! If Buffy ever even got the slightest idea that I had sexy thoughts about her sister, she’d eviscerate me. Slowly. With a dull spoon!’

Shaking his head, Xander put that line of thinking away. Fortunately, Faith helped by dropping her arms and opening her eyes.

“Did it work?” Xander was curious. He refrained from any more direct questions about why she might need to use the technique.

Faith’s face held a gentle smile as she answered. “Yeah, actually it did,” she said with a note of pleasant surprise. Her smile turned into a smirk as she added, “Did you enjoy watching me?”

Xander just grinned back. “Yeah, actually I did,” he answered, not at all embarrassed.

Whatever response Faith was going to make was interrupted by the muffled sound of a woman screaming, coming from inside the mansion.

For a moment, Xander tensed, ready to run to the aid of whoever was crying out. Before he moved, though, he realized what the sound was. ‘Damn, the girls really know how to welcome a new day!’ he thought with a smirk.

Faith had a matching smirk on her face.

“I guess the girls are awake,” Xander said with a chuckle

“Either that, or Blondie’s having a wicked good dream!” Faith snarked. “Damn, I didn’t know B and Red had it in ‘em!”

‘Sounds like Tara’s the one with it in her...Doh! Bad Xander!’ he thought, amused, but glad he hadn’t said it out loud.

“I bet hanging around those three gives you plenty of jack-off fantasies, huh Xan man?” Faith said suddenly.

Xander, taken completely off-guard, choked in surprise. “Good God!” he blurted, feeling his face glowing hot.

“Come-on X, you can level with me,” Faith crooned in a sexy tone. “Do you lay awake at night, thinking of B, riding Red’s face like it was a rodeo bull; or Blondie stuffing B’s tiny little body full with three or four fingers, hmm? Prim and proper Buffy, riding that witch’s fingers, screaming like a porn-star?”

By this point, Faith had moved into Xander’s personal space, on hand lightly on his chest and the rest of her so close that he could feel her body heat. She was looking up at him through her eyelashes, a coy, knowing smile on her face.

‘What the hell are you playing at?’ Xander wondered.

“How many nights do you reach down between your legs and touch yourself with images of them playing in your head?” She whispered, licking her lower lip and drawing it between her teeth.

Xander gulped heavily and his voice was hoarse as he responded. “Uh, probably no more than you do, Faith.”

Faith’s face transformed from the seductress into a wide grin and she chuckled. Her voice was filled with humor as she said, “Damn! Every night, huh?”

‘Ok, I’m confused...’ Xander thought, thrown by Faith’s behavior. “Uh...” he tried to formulate a response, when Willow’s piercing shriek filled the air.

Suddenly Xander began to feel hot waves of pleasure flowing through his body, centering in his groin. “Oh God!” he yelped as a powerful orgasm ripped through him, causing his body to shudder and twitch.

Faith was apparently affected as well. She grabbed a fist-full of his shirt with the hand on his chest, and her eyelids fluttered shut. Her legs bowed and she began writhing, rolling her hips like she was in the midst of intercourse. Her free hand trailed up into her hair as her head fell back and she shouted, “Oh hell yeah! Yes! Yes! Yessssss!”

Xander had no concept of time during that moment other than one realization, ‘It’s never lasted this long before in my life!’

When it finally ended, Xander was breathing hard and felt sweaty all over. “What in the *hell* was that?” he asked out loud.

“Dunno Xan,” Faith said, releasing her grip on his shirt and running her hands over her forehead and through her thick curly hair. “But whatever it was, I want one of my own!”

Xander frowned at the dark Slayer and took a step away from her. “Oh God,” he muttered as he felt sticky mess in his pants.

“Damn, Xan-man!” Faith exclaimed, sounding surprised.

Xander looked back at Faith and saw her staring at his pants with a smirk on her face. He looked down to see the extent of the mess and closed his eyes, shaking his head in disgust.

Muttering dire imprecations toward certain redheads, Xander headed for the bathroom.

“You need a hand in there?” Faith loudly asked as he went by. She sounded highly amused.

“No! I think I can handle it, Faith,” he growled.

As he entered the bathroom and grabbed the door to slam it behind him, he heard her call out, “Yeah, I bet you can...sounds like you’ve had lots of practice!”

“Women!” Xander growled as he turned on the shower faucet and began stripping.

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

“I don’t understand; you mean she cast a spell?” Buffy’s voice was filled with confusion and annoyance.

“I didn’t mean too,” Willow whined, sounding like a little kid who had broken a lamp or something.

Tara shook her head, once again trying to explain as the three girls exited the bedroom. “Not exactly, Buffy,” she began.

They had recovered from Willow’s ‘big finale’, showered in the en-suite bathroom and gotten dressed- during which Tara had tried three times to explain what she thought had happened.

‘Goddess, how do I simplify this so that it makes sense to you?’ Tara thought.

“Remember how I told you that we can draw power from the earth around us, Buffy?”

The blonde Slayer nodded. “Uh huh, I remember that Willow doesn’t like to do it, because it’s too slow...” she said with an arch look at the redhead.

Willow’s eyes were downcast.

“That’s right, Buffy,” Tara agreed.

“So it was dark magic?” Buffy asked in a dismayed voice, apparently remembering the rest of that discussion.

At that Willow shook her head violently, meeting Buffy’s eyes for the first time since the event in question. “No! I swear Buffy! I don’t know what happened, but I know it wasn’t dark magics!”

Tara stopped in the hall outside the bedroom, pulling her lovers to her. “Shh, Willow. It’s ok. Buffy, there were no dark magics,” she assured the shorter blonde.

“But...” Buffy began, sounding more confused than annoyed now.

“There are more power sources than those two, Buffy,” Tara explained. “Certain Wiccan magic rituals involve sex as a major component...it can lend great power to a spell.”

Willow’s voice was still a little whiny as she said, “But I didn’t cast any spells, I swear! In that state, I- I don’t think I could cast...”

Tara saw Buffy’s face soften into a gentle smile as she stared at her redheaded lover. The Slayer pulled her pet into an embrace and kissed her forehead, whispering just loud enough for Tara to hear, “It’s ok Will, I’m not mad...”

“You’re not?” Willow asked in that ‘little-girl’ voice that made Tara’s heart skip a beat.

“No baby. A little wigged, but not mad,” Buffy answered warmly.

Willow looked up at Tara and asked, “So if it wasn’t a spell, what was it?”

Tara smiled at both her lovers, once again feeling warmth and joy fill her at the sight. She sighed contentedly now that the tensions had eased. “Well, I think...” she continued the explanation as they began walking down the hall again. “I mean, a spell is just a way of focusing the magic energy and making it do what you want it to do. So, I think that...you didn’t have any focus, but Buffy was building up the sexual tension in you, and you apparently translated that into magical energy and then you...when Buffy finally let you release the tension...”

“I released the magic too...” Willow whispered, her voice awed.

By this point the triad had just entered the great room when they were startled by the sound of someone clapping their hands. Loudly.

Tara turned to the room to see Faith and Xander. Faith was laughing and clapping her hands, Xander had an annoyed look on his face, and was wearing only a towel around his waist. ‘He looks like he just got out of the shower...’ she thought, confused. ‘why didn’t he get dressed?’

Buffy must have had the same thought, because she said, “Xander, why aren’t you dressed?”

What seemed like a simple question had a strange effect.

Xander’s look of annoyance grew into an open glower. Faith, on the other hand, began laughing out loud.

‘Oh dear,’ Tara thought. ‘Goddess, I knew she was powerful, but...wow!’

Xander shot a glare at the dark haired Slayer before answering Buffy’s question. “Well Buff, I was dressed, in my very last set of semi-clean clothes, then *someone* decided to detonate little miss orgasma-bomb over there,” he said, gesturing to Willow.

Tara glanced at her lovers and had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing. ‘That look reminds me of the time Mom and Dawnie teased us about being too loud...’ she thought at Buffy’s wide-eyed stare, and Willow’s deep blush.

“and suddenly I needed a shower and a change of clothes- which I don’t have,” Xander continued grousing.

Faith interjected, “Don’t listen to him B!” The brunette began rubbing her hands over her upper thighs, up her pelvis and back down along either side of her crotch. “You can set off your little sex kitten any time you like as far as I’m concerned! Hell, I could sell tickets!”

‘Oh goddess!’ Tara thought, losing control of her laughter as Willow’s blush darkened and Buffy gaped, speechless.

Willow’s voice was squeaky high as she stuttered, “You mean...you...you...had a...a...a...”

Faith seemed to relish Willow’s embarrassment. “Orgasm, say it with me Red, ‘Or-gaz-im.’ I know you know what that is, hell you just shared yours with everyone in the house, and I, for one, wanna say thanks!”

Faith turned her attention from Willow to the two blondes, saying, “I don’t know which one of you did that to her, but...Damn you’re good! I haven’t cum that hard in years!”

Tara felt her own face growing hot as Faith continued.

“Whichever one of you it was...I’d be happy to return the favor anytime you like...” Faith trailed off.

Tara’s eyes narrowed at that. “Not amused Faith...” she said with a low growl.

‘Fun is fun, but no one touches what’s mine!’ Tara thought with annoyance.

Faith was still smiling, but Tara thought she saw a hint of apprehension in the dark Slayer’s eyes as she answered, “Easy now, I was just playing...besides, I’m not the one who was broadcasting orgasm signals to all the little girls and boys...”

“Oh goddess!” Willow cried suddenly. “How far do you think it went?” she sounded horrified.

Xander’s face lost its annoyed look, and his mouth started to twitch, “Well, I didn’t hear any screeching brakes, so either it didn’t reach the street, or no one was driving by at that moment...”

Faith was laughing so hard that she collapsed back onto the couch, holding her stomach. “Can...can you imagine...?” she started, having trouble getting out whatever she wanted to say past the laughter. “Some old lady...sittin’ there...just sittin’ there watching...Judge Judy? And, she...she...?”

Xander apparently couldn’t hold on to his anger either, as he began to laugh out loud. “Even better, some old guy watching Springer...and it’s drag-queen day!”

Faith’s laughter redoubled and tears rolled down her face as she laid back on the couch.

Xander collapsed back into a chair facing the couch, overtaken by his own laughter.

Buffy and Willow were busy holding each other in embarrassment.

‘Oh goddess, poor Willow, she’s never going to live this one down...’ Tara thought, fighting her own laughter. ‘I’m just glad Mom and Dawnie aren’t here...between this and the ‘pancake incident’ I don’t think Willow could ever look them in the eye again...’

Tara’s eyes traveled from her lovers past Xander who flopped back in the chair, wiping tears from his eyes to Faith, who was rolling onto her side on the couch.

Tara frowned in confusion when Faith’s face underwent an immediate an dramatic change. All humor fell away, replaced by what looked like shock. The shock then quickly transformed into a predatory look.

‘What?’ Tara wondered, confused as Faith licked her lips and smiled hungrily. ‘I’ve seen that look...’ she thought, trying to remember where. The blonde witch realized Faith’s eyes hadn’t wavered during this course of events, and she tried to follow the dark Slayer’s gaze.

“Oh my!” Tara squeaked, quickly turning her head away from the sight of Xander, sitting spread-legged as always, but wrapped in a short towel that gaped open, revealing more than he obviously realized.

“Damn X-man!” Faith’s voice sounded out. “You musta had a growth spurt or somethin’! I don’t remember it bein’ that big last time I steered you round the curves.”

Tara kept her eyes focused on Buffy and Willow. ‘I’m sure my face must look like Willow’s hair right now!’ she thought, mortified. ‘I’ve never seen a ‘live’ one before, and I’d be just as happy if I never saw one again!’

Buffy looked over in Faith’s direction, a curious look on her face. “Faith what are you talking about?”

Tara watched as Buffy and Willow looked over at Xander, trying to figure out what Faith meant. ‘No! Don’t look!’ she thought, but was unwilling to shout that out loud.

“I just might have to take you out for another test drive!” Faith said, her voice completely devoid of shame.

‘I think she’s enjoying this too much!’ Tara thought, annoyed. ‘I know we’re kinda a lot more open about sex and stuff since we got together, but Faith is...well, actually I guess she’s not as bad as Anya was...but almost!’

At that moment Tara saw her two lovers get an eyeful and react with shock, though, unlike her, they didn’t immediately turn away.

“Wow!” Buffy exhaled, her eyes wide.

Willow just nodded. Her eyes were also wide and staring.

“Now we know why Anya was so...” Buffy began.

“Ahem!” Tara cleared her throat loudly. ‘Oh you two are definitely getting your butts paddled tonight!’ Tara thought with a glare.

Xander apparently figured out what everyone was staring at, because Tara saw him jump to his feet out of the corner of her eye.

“Ok, that’s it!” Xander said loudly. “I’m taking Giles car to my apartment. One of you is coming with me to go in and get me some clothes, so I don’t have to walk through my apartment building in nothing but a towel...”

Both Buffy and Willow turned to Tara with a sheepish look when they saw her glare.

“I’ll go!” Faith said immediately.

“Someone who isn’t Faith,” Xander quickly clarified.

Tara turned around to see Faith smirking broadly as she laid back on the couch. “Your loss,” she said, running her hand over her arched hip seductively.

Tara looked to Xander for his response and again blushed and ducked her head when the front of his towel visibly twitched.

“Tell me about it...” Xander muttered softly.

Willow whispered something to Buffy, too low for Tara to hear. Buffy nodded slightly and Will piped up, “Come on Xander, I’ll save ya’ from the big bad Slayer.” Her voice was clearly projecting her amusement at the situation.

“My hero!” Xander said flatly.

Tara risked another glance at him and saw the corners of his mouth twitching into a small sheepish grin. ‘Well, that was...an interesting start to the day,’ she thought.

“If we hurry, we can get some donuts on the way back before we have to check in with G-man...” Xander said, walking toward the door.

“Oh my God! Giles and Mom! We forgot to let them know we’re ok!” Buffy suddenly shouted. Her eyes were wide and she had an alarmed look on her face.

‘Oh my gosh!’ Tara thought guiltily. ‘They must be so worried!’

Xander didn’t even slow down as he shouted back over his shoulder, “Don’t worry Buffy, Xan-man was on the case. They know, and they’re expecting our call at two!”

With that he was gone, a bemused looking Willow following behind.

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

Chapter 2

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

“Are you ok Xander? You’re awfully quiet...” Willow’s voice broke into Xander’s thoughts. “Are you mad at me...us...for the, uh, for the magic thing?” she asked, her voice sounding hesitant and worried.

‘Am I mad?’ Xander thought with a sigh. ‘Embarrassed, annoyed, freaked out, and a million other things all at once, but mad- how would I even know?’

“I’m not mad Will,” he answered with another sigh. “I’m just...between the thing last night, and I didn’t sleep very well, and then the weirdness that was waking up...”

Xander’s tired mind didn’t do its normal job of censoring his mouth and things he normally would hesitate to share just seemed to spill right out. “...and we hear you guys making Tara scream, and Faith starts coming on to me, hitting on me pretty hard. Then, in the middle of that, there’s you screaming, and the, um, magic thing...Then I end up wearing nothing but a towel around four hotties...you three with the ‘just got laid’ look; Faith with the ‘just came, want to do it again’ look...I guess I’m a little stressed out right now,” Xander finished in a muttering voice- stream of consciousness pouring out of his mouth.

“Oh,” Willow said softly.

Silence reigned once again as Xander’s fatigued mind flitted about aimlessly from subject to subject.

After a short time, Willow again piped up, “Xander?”

“Yeah Will?”

“How come you didn’t want Faith to go with you?” she asked, sounding curious.

‘That’s a good question!’ the horny part of Xander’s brain piped up.

“Cause we’d probably’ve ended up in bed together,” Xander said, as if it were obvious.

This time his mind beat Willow to the punch. ‘And that would have been a bad thing how!?’ He was suddenly assaulted with flashed images from his one brief tryst with the dark Slayer, her incredible body writhing and bouncing above his own. He had to bite back a moan, and he felt himself start to harden under his towel.

He attempted to address his own subconscious, and at the same time answer the question he just knew Willow wanted, but was too polite to ask. “Look, I’m not really into casual sex, ok? I mean, I want the same thing you want, Will- love, a relationship...I’m not interested in jumping from bed to bed.”

This time his mind flashed back to the day Anya had seduced him, not that it had been that difficult for her, but even then he had protested that ‘Sex is supposed to mean something...’ yet his mind had been too weak to overcome his body’s desire. ‘And so I ended up in a year long relationship that turned out to be no more meaningful than a one-night stand. A 300-night stand, I guess.’

“Besides,” he added. “Faith already has a Xander-shaped notch on her belt, she doesn’t need another one.” His voice was devoid of the bitterness one might expect at such a statement. It was presented simply as an observation.

“Oh...” Willow said again.

Xander glanced at his childhood best friend and saw a look of uncertainty on her face.

“Spill, Will,” Xander said, just wanting the subject to be wrapped up.

“Huh?” she asked, sounding distracted.

“You’ve got ‘but’ face, Will,” Xander said with a small smile. “Whatever you’re thinking, just go ahead and say it.”

“Ok, uh, so, when we were in LA...you and Cordy...” she trailed off.

“Cordelia...” Xander said with a heavy sigh, remembering their two nights together earlier this week. “Cordelia was in a really bad place, Will. She was hurting physically, and emotionally...she really felt alone, and unwanted, and the vision thing...it really hurts her when she has one.”

Visions of Cordelia Chase with tears in her eyes, and a look of hopelessness on her face played across his mind. ‘I never imagined seeing her like that...’ he thought. ‘She was always so vibrant, even when she was busy verbally ripping me to shreds, she had a spark of life in her eyes...and it was missing when I saw her this week.’

Xander shook his head, bringing his attention back to the road in front of him, and the conversation he was having. “She needed someone who cared about her, someone who could make her feel special and loved again.”

“You...you love her?” Willow asked, sounding surprised.

Xander smiled at the tone of Willow’s question. “Of course I love her, Will! Just like I love you and Dawnie and Buffy and Tara...and maybe even Faith. You girls are like my family.” Struck with a sudden thought, Xander frowned and added, “Without the whole disturbing, incest, angle.”

“Gotcha,” Willow said, her voice echoing her smile. “Family, but not sisters.”

Xander laughed a little before adding, “I just mean that you are all close and important to me, like family.”

Again, mental fatigue made him continue when he might normally have stopped. “One of my girls was hurting and needed my help. God knows I’d lay down my life for any of you in a heartbeat,” he said softly, his voice introspective.

Again, Xander shook of his reverie and refocused before continuing. “So, I’m not ‘in love’ with Cordy, but I do love her. So it wasn’t casual sex...it was about my feelings for her, how much I care for her, and about her. I tried to make her see that she was special, and beautiful and important.”

Willow’s voice was a bit wondrous as she said, “Well it must have worked, cause she seemed pretty upbeat that next day!”

“God, she was magnificent!” Xander blurted out as he remembered their second night together.

“eep!” Willow squeaked softly.

Xander glanced at the redhead and saw that she was blushing. ‘Mmhmm, methinks a little payback is in order for this morning...’

“Picture it Will. Forget for a minute what a bitch she was to us in High School, and just picture it; Queen C, striding down the hallway. Short, tight skirt, one of those blouses that were almost see-through and hugged every curve on that luscious body. That perfect hair, that beautiful face...only instead of a cruel look, imagine a warm, genuine smile on those full, red lips. Imagine her eyes wide and filled with joy and pleasure as she calls out your name...Now you look down and the clothes are gone...her perfect, tan skin...big, soft, round breasts...nipples crying out to be sucked on...that flat belly...down...your fingers moving inside...”

As Xander pulled into the parking lot of his building, he shot a glance at his friend and had to restrain a laugh. ‘Oh I got you, Will! Someone’s had a few fantasies of her own about Cordy, I see!’ he thought as he saw her dilated eyes and her tongue darting out to lick her lips.

Of course, Xander wasn’t unaffected himself, remembering everything he was describing, and now his best friend- his extremely hot and sexy best friend was sitting next to him, clearly aroused. Before his towel gave up the ghost, Xander pulled his keys from the ignition and dangled them up in front of Willow’s face. “Enough fantasizing, Will. Time to go get Xander some clothes!”

Willow snapped out of her daze, protesting, “What? I wasn’t...”

Xander just smirked at her knowingly.

Willow’s eyes narrowed and she shook her finger at him, “Why you!”

“Hello pot, this is kettle,” Xander said with an amused laugh. “You’ve got no room to talk, Ms. Radio-Free-Orgasm!”

Willow blushed and dropped her finger, her eyes dropping to her lap as well. “I didn’t mean for that to happen...” she said softly.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Xander said with a warm smile. His smile once again grew mischievous as he added, “Now, be a good buddy and get me some sweats to slip on so I can come in and change, and I won’t tell Buffy how you were having lusty wrong thoughts about Cordelia.”

Willow’s head snapped up and her eyes were wide with outrage, “What?! Xander Lavelle Harris! Don’t you dare...I’ll turn you into a newt, Mister!” She once again shook her finger at him.

Xander laughed out loud at Willow’s scolding. ‘Thanks Will, I needed that!’ he thought, laughing even louder as she snatched his keys and got out of the car, stomping away and muttering under her breath as she went.

Xander’s laughter died out, but his mood stayed up as he watched his Willow walking away. “Damn, Buffy. You and Tara really are very lucky women...” he whispered, truly glad for his loved ones, that they could have such happiness with each other.

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

Xander smiled with amusement as he listened to Willow place the order for sandwiches.

“Two six inch tuna salads on whole wheat; one with tomatoes, the other plain. Two foot long BMT’s on white, double meat, mayo and mustard, tomatoes, olives, green peppers, banana peppers, oil and vinegar, salt and pepper, no lettuce, no onions.”

They’d gone to subway, deciding to forego donuts seeing as it was already afternoon, and something of more substance might be required.

“I take it you and Tara like tuna?” Xander asked.

Willow whirled on him, eyes narrowed. “That better not be a lesbian crack, Xander...” she whispered, sounding angry.

Xander’s eyes widened and he held up his hands placatingly. “Whoa, whaddya mean Will?” he asked in surprise at her sudden mood swing.

Willow looked wary, but a little confused herself. Hesitantly, she said, “You know...lesbians...eating fish...”

‘What the...?’ Xander thought, truly befuddled. Then he caught the slight blush on Willow’s cheeks and he goggled at her momentarily.

“Oh! God, no Will! I wasn’t...eww, no way!” he stammered. “Not even...I mean I love going...south...and I hate tuna. I mean, it doesn’t...” Xander felt his own face getting hot, at the same time Willow’s blush spread. ‘I never thought I’d be discussing eating pussy with my best *female* friend...especially in line at the Subway!’

Willow was clearly embarrassed. “Oh, sorry!” she said with a gulp and turned back to the girl behind the counter, who was staring at the two of them with a wide-eyed look of her own.

“Um, will there be anything else?” the teen asked hesitantly.

Finally, Xander had to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. Nodding his head, he replied, “Yeah, I’d like two foot long subclubs with everything, and...”

Turning to Willow, who was still blushing a little, he asked, “What do you think Faith likes?”

Willow’s face broke into a wicked grin as she answered, “Well, from what went on this morning, I’d say she’s hungry for sausage.”

Xander snorted a laugh at that. ‘Score one for the redhead!’ he thought humorously.

“I don’t think they have that particular meat on the menu here...” Xander said, surprising his friend, and causing her to snicker. “She’ll have to make do with meatballs.” Turning to the teen behind the counter, he said, “Two foot-long meatball subs, on white, and that should do us.”

As Willow was paying for the food, Xander had another naughty thought. ‘Oh, I shouldn’t...but I really want to...’

The little devil on Xander’s left shoulder won over the angel on his right this time, and he leaned forward and whispered in Willow’s ear. “You know, I never understood the tuna thing. I think of it more like cheesecake. You know...creamy, tart, rich, and just a little sweet.”

Willow didn’t say anything, but Xander could see the blush return to her face and neck, and she fumbled the change as she tried to put it in her pocket, dropping it to the floor instead.

‘Oh yeah, The Xan-man evens up the score!’ Xander thought, grinning madly as he picked up the sandwich bags and headed for the door, ignoring the glare the redheaded witch was shooting him.

‘I’m gonna pay for that...I just know it,’ he thought. ‘But it was *so* worth it!’ he decided as they headed for the car.

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

Tara walked back into the great room to find it unexpectedly empty. ‘Hmm, I wonder if little miss Faith is off flirting with my Slayer somewhere?’ she thought. ‘She seems to enjoy pushing the envelope a little bit too much. Do I say something, or would that just make her do it even more...?’

The blonde witch looked in some of the immediate side-rooms to see if she could find the ‘chosen two’ off somewhere by themselves.

‘It’s not like I worry about Buffy doing anything,’ she told herself. ‘I just seem to have a little bit of a possessive streak when it comes to Faith being around my girls...’

Walking out into the courtyard, Tara was surprised to find Buffy, by herself, sitting on the edge of the defunct fountain, staring at a wall with a contemplative look on her face. ‘Goddess, she’s so beautiful! I always think that; every time I see her I can’t help but think it again,’ she thought with a warm flutter in her stomach, and a happy smile on her face.

Tara walked over and sat down next to the Slayer, laying one hand gently on Buffy’s lower back and rubbing in a small circle. “Where’d Faith run off to, sweetie?”

Buffy leaned sideways against Tara and laid her head on the Wicca’s shoulder. “She said she had to go check something. She’ll be back in an hour or two,” Buffy said softly, as though not wanting to disturb the quiet that had settled over the area.

“Oh,” was all Tara said.

‘How adorable is this,’ she thought, leaning her head and rubbing her cheek against the crown of Buffy’s head. As always, a small shiver ran through her at Buffy’s mere touch.

Buffy chuckled softly and added, “I think you kinda scared her...not that she’d ever admit it.”

‘Good!’ was Tara’s immediate reaction, but she managed not to verbalize it. “Scared her, how?” she asked instead, fishing for more.

“Uh huh, like you don’t know...” Buffy said with a soft laugh. “Maybe it was the death-glare you shot her when she offered to ‘return the favor’?”

Tara couldn’t stifle a small snicker of her own at that. The smile quickly died on her lips though. ‘Uh oh, I’m getting worried feelings from you all of a sudden,’ she thought.

“You don’t have to worry about me...I mean, I would never, like, leave you...you know, for someone else...you do know that right?” Buffy asked in a small, anxious voice; her left hand sliding over to Tara’s knee and squeezing gently.

‘Something tells me this is going to be a ‘Talk’ kind of talk,’ Tara thought as her stomach rumbled with trepidation. She took Buffy’s hand and stood up, saying, “Come on.”

Tara pulled a somewhat reluctant Slayer behind her into the house. She sat down in the corner of the couch in the great room and patted her lap with her free hand. “Come here, Buffy,” she said, trying not to make it sound too much like an order.

Buffy seemed hesitant for a moment, but after a light tug on her hand, curled herself up in Tara’s lap, arms around her and face buried in the crook of the witch’s neck.

‘My poor Slayer,’ Tara thought sadly as she stroked the petite blonde’s back. ‘So strong, but so full of doubt and anxiety...you have such a hard time believing in yourself!’

“What’s wrong Buffy? Please tell me,” she whispered, nuzzling the top of her lover’s head.

Buffy softly kissed Tara’s throat, creating a delightful ache in the witch’s chest and stomach.

‘Oh goddess! What you do to me.’ Tara thought, suppressing a shudder. ‘I won’t let you distract me though...no matter how wonderful it feels!’

Tara gently cradled Buffy’s head in her hands and pushed her away enough to make eye contact. “What is it my love?” she whispered.

“It’s...” Buffy started, then dropped her eyes and added, “It’s just me being silly. It’s really no big deal.”

‘Uh huh, that’s why you’re all upset-worry-girl all of a sudden, because it’s no big deal,’ Tara thought, recognizing Buffy’s self-deprecating, avoidance techniques.

“Trust me? Please?” Tara said in a quiet, needy voice- not above a few manipulative tactics of her own when necessary.

“It’s dumb, you’ll see,” Buffy said, clearly capitulating to Tara, as she always did in the end.

“I’ve been the Slayer for like five years now...” Buffy started, settling back against her lover’s chest and neck. “For most of that time I told myself that I hated being the Slayer, hated the way it stole my life from me...I knew I was destined to die young, so I never really thought about the future, or at least I never really thought about me being in it. Planning ahead for me was, like, if I picked out what I was going to wear to school the next day.”

Tara chuckled along with Buffy at that.

“So I never planned for the future. ‘cause slaying meant I wasn’t gonna have one.”

Tara felt a pang of sorrow clench in her chest at the thought of a future without Buffy.

“But lately...I-I’ve started to have thoughts...about, you know, maybe making plans...”

“What kind of plans,” Tara asked when Buffy trailed off into silence.

“Well...I haven’t actually made any,” Buffy answered. “I’ve just thought about, like maybe I should, you know...make some.”

Tara couldn’t suppress a little giggle. ‘You’re just too cute sometimes,’ she thought.

“Hey!” Buffy pouted.

“Sorry, Buffy. I don’t see what’s bad about making plans though...”

“Well, nothing’s wrong with making plans...but...” Buffy trailed off into silence again.

“But what, sweetie?” Tara prompted.

“It’s just...Lately I kinda started to realize something else, especially since Faith...” Buffy started, sounding ashamed and guilty.

A deep twinge of jealousy shot through the witch at Buffy’s words. ‘Easy now Tara,’ she told herself. ‘Buffy would never hurt you, or Willow, like that.’ Despite her best efforts she stiffened slightly while waiting for Buffy to explain.

Buffy reacted by clutching a little tighter to her lover. “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself!” she whispered harshly.

‘What could be so bad?’ Tara wondered, forcing herself to relax and stroke Buffy’s back and hair.

“Shh, it’s ok Buffy. Just tell me,” Tara crooned softly.

“It’s the s-slaying...” Buffy began, her voice so quiet that Tara had to strain herself to hear. “I...I enjoy it.”

“What?” Tara asked, unsure if she’d heard her lover correctly. She again cradled Buffy’s face and pushed back so she could see her girlfriend’s face. “What?” she repeated.

Buffy looked dejected as she answered. “I love it,” she whispered, sounding ashamed with herself. “I love being the Slayer! I get off on the hunt and the kill!” she said louder, the shame turning into disgust.

Slowly, despite her trying to control it, a smile tugged at the corners of Tara’s mouth. Once she lost her grip on that, the laughter she’d been holding back bubbled forth.

The very confused look on Buffy’s face fractured any last restraint in Tara and she began howling in laughter.

“*That* is what you were so worried about?” Tara asked incredulously. “Oh, Buffy. Willow and I knew that all along!”

Buffy’s face fell into a pout, causing a familiar reaction from Tara. ‘You’re so gosh-darn sexy when you do that!’ she thought as she kissed the Slayer’s pouty lips.

Tara leaned back and continued, “Even if we didn’t know it before, we would have found out last night when we were enjoined! Did you get any sense that we were disgusted or upset while we were in there with you?”

Buffy was still pouting a little as she thought about it. “Well...no...but, how can I make plans for the future if I’m all embracing the thing that makes it so I can’t have a future?” she asked with a ‘so-there!’ tone to her voice, as though she’d made an irrefutable point.

Tara shook her head. “Aww, sweetie. We can’t let that kind of fear stop us from living our lives, from planning for the future. Anybody could die in a freak accident at any moment, and people like police officers, and firemen, and soldiers...they have dangerous and risky jobs too, but they still get married, and have kids, and buy houses, and get pets, and, and all kinds of ‘planning ahead’ stuff.”

Buffy looked down after a moment and whispered, “But, doesn’t it seem wrong that I should enjoy it so much? How can I be a good person if I’m a killer, and not just because I was chosen, but...but ‘cause I love it”?

‘Aha! Now the real truth comes out!’ Tara thought. ‘Now, how do I answer that...’

The blond witch pulled her lover in for a long, sweet kiss. ‘Mmm, gives me more time to think, plus I love kissing you Buffy!’ she thought.

Breaking the kiss and resting her forehead against Buffy’s, Tara spoke. “I remember the first time I saw you slay a demon...I have to admit, it kinda freaked me out a little. But...I’ve seen stuff, and I’ve read Giles’ books...and these things, demons and vampires...they’re like a disease. Worse than a disease, cause they know what they’re doing- they choose to do all those horrible things to people...” her eyes misted as she recalled some of the horrors she’d personally witnessed since being introduced to Sunnydale’s nightlife.

Buffy’s warm thumb wiping her tears away brought a smile back to Tara’s face. “I imagine how happy a doctor must feel when they cure someone of cancer, or a surgeon when they remove a tumor and save someone’s life...”

“Like mom,” Buffy interjected with a happy smile.

“Just like Mom,” Tara said, her own smile beaming as she used the rapidly-becoming-familiar title. “When I was sitting at the prison waiting for them to process Faith’s pardon, I thought about all those vampires we dusted at that weird seminar...”

“Doug the vampire self-help guru,” Buffy said with a giggle. “How creepy was that!?”

“Right,” Tara affirmed with a nod. “imagine, even if each of those vampire only would have killed one person a week for a year- we saved over five thousand lives that night. I remember how incredible I felt after that...”

“There’s no bad here...” Buffy whispered, quoting one of Xander’s favorite quips with a sense of dawning wonder in her voice.

“No bad at all,” Tara agreed, her hands starting to wander over Buffy’s body as memories of that night, and many other such nights, inflamed Tara’s passion.

“Love you, Tar,” Buffy whispered.

“I love you too, Buffy,” Tara answered.

Fortunately, at least in the girl’s minds, they were still fully clothed when Xander and Willow returned with lunch a few minutes later.

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Dawn sat on the couch with her feet curled under her. Whether it was due to familiarity at last, or just the stress of her nightmares and lack of sleep, she no longer even noticed the horribly tacky décor of Ethan Rayne’s 1970’s style pimp-pad. She’d come to think of it as ‘Huggy-bear’s house,’ remembering the character from Starsky and Hutch re-runs.

Right now she was observing her mother as she watched her new lover puttering about the kitchen, making lunch.

‘I don’t think I’ve seen her being this happy before,’ Dawn thought, feeling melancholy. ‘Even when I was little, I don’t remember her looking at dad like that...Why would the monks give me unhappy memories? Did they somehow know she wasn’t happy with him? How could they know that?’

Dawn glanced around the room, as though noticing it anew. ‘Why did they give me memories of watching Starsky and Hutch re-runs? Mom and Buffy didn’t watch them with me very much...did one of the monks have a Starsky and Hutch fetish, and it got passed on to me?’ The thought, while not especially appealing, didn’t elicit any strong emotion, negative or positive.

‘I wonder if I have that look on my face when I look at Xander?’ she thought as her focus moved back to her mother. ‘I see it in Buffy’s eyes when she looks at Tara or Willow...I see it in their eyes too...I don’t remember seeing it in Xander’s eyes when he looked at Anya. I don’t think I ever saw it in hers either.’

Dawn blinked her eyes rapidly, and reached up to her face to surreptitiously wipe away a tear as she thought, ‘I wish he was here right now. I wish I could hug him, and just have him hold me...I always feel like everything’s going to be ok when he hugs me...I’m so glad he didn’t get hurt in that fight...that none of them got hurt.’

Refocusing on her mom, Dawn whispered, “You really love him, don’t you?” Her voice was almost too soft for her mom to hear.

Joyce looked away from Giles and met Dawn’s eyes. “What was that honey?” she asked with a gentle smile still gracing her lips.

“The way you look at Giles,” Dawn replied softly. “You really love him a lot, don’t you?”

Her Mom’s smile faltered for a moment, and she said, “I know it must seem so sudden to you, it is to me as well...”

Dawn shook her head and smiled encouragingly. “Not really...I mean, it’s not like you just met him, and barely know him...It’s Giles.” She nodded her head, adding, “I totally get it.”

Joyce’s face lit up in a hundred-watt smile. “Oh, honey!” she whispered, leaning over and wrapping Dawn up in her arms. “I glad you approve!”

‘I’ll take Rupert Giles over Hank Summers any day,’ Dawn thought. ‘Gosh, I just realized, I’ve never really actually even met my supposed ‘father’!’

Tabling that random thought, Dawn whispered back to her mother, “He’s a great guy, mom. How could I disapprove?”

Joyce let go the hug and sat back. “Honestly, honey...I was a little worried that you might...I don’t know, resent the fact that I wanted to be with someone other than your father...” she said hesitantly.

‘She’s worried...that I would resent Giles?’ Dawn thought. ‘I...even if the memories were true, it’s not like we’ve even heard from Hank Summers in, like years! I don’t even feel bad about that...maybe the monks made me not care about him? Did they know he’d never be around again?’

When Dawn didn’t respond, her Mom continued, “Giles isn’t going to try and replace your father, honey...”

“Of course he is,” Dawn interjected. She smiled warmly and continued, “It’s ok, mom. I’m not a little kid; you don’t have to pretend that ‘dad’ still cares about me, about Buffy, about any of us.”

Joyce shook her head and Dawn could tell that she was going to try and deny it. She reached out and clasped her mom’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Mom, Dad ran off to Spain with his secretary. He abandoned all of us. Actually, he abandoned you and Buffy, ‘cause it happened all before I even existed, actually. He doesn’t love me- he never did. He’s never even met me, not really.”

‘Funny how little that bothers me...’ Seeing a tear run down her mother’s face, Dawn had a different reaction; ‘That bothers me, though,’ she thought, feeling a lump in her throat and a squeezing sensation in her chest.

“It’s really ok, Mom, don’t cry,” the youngest Summers said as her own eyes welled up. “That stuff doesn’t matter, cause I know Giles does love us. He’s the one who’s actually stayed around...and things have been a lot tougher than they ever were when ‘dad’ was around. Giles took care of Buffy all that time before we found out she was ‘the chosen one’ and he’s saved my life lots of times; twice even just this week.”

Her mom’s face seemed torn between crying and smiling as Dawn talked.

“So, I know he loves me; even though he’s never said it- he shows it. And, he loves you, and he loves Buffy...he’s all the dad I really need,” she said with a warm smile.

“Oh honey!” Joyce cried softly, again leaning forward and wrapping Dawn up in a tight embrace. “I love you so much Dawn! Never forget that for a second!”

Dawn returned the embrace, whispering back, “I love you too Mom!”

‘She could have so easily kicked me out when she found out about the whole Key thing- Buffy too, they could have let the Knights have me and still saved the world...but they didn’t...they risked everything for me...’ Dawn thought. ‘God I’m so lucky!’

At that moment, Giles walked over and set a plate of sandwiches and a pot of tea down on the coffee table. “Is everything alright?” he asked, looking concerned as he gazed upon the embraced mother and daughter.

Seemingly of one mind, Dawn and her mother stood up and pulled Giles into their embrace, each pressing their face against his chest and hugging him tightly.

“Oh, m-my word!” Giles stuttered, apparently unused to such physical displays of affection. “What brought this on?”

She looked up, catching her mother’s adoring gaze which was aimed at the befuddled Brit. Dawn smiled happily at both of them and said, “Sometimes you get hugged just for being a good guy, Giles.”

‘Poor guy doesn’t know what hit him,’ Dawn thought affectionately.

“It’s a girl thing- just accept it.” The younger Summers further explained.

Giles hugged back as he muttered, “Well I suppose I’ll manage...somehow.”

After a moment, the group-hug ended and Dawn smiled to see the blush on Giles face. ‘Aww, that’s so sweet,’ she thought with no little humor.

“If you ladies will e-excuse me, I’ve got to get something from th-the car...” Giles stammered. “I-I’ll just be a moment, and then we can enjoy lunch...”

As he headed toward the door, Joyce leaned close to Dawn and whispered, “I think we embarrassed him...”

Dawn snickered, “Well, I think you’ve loosened him up a little, but he’s still Giles.”

‘Oh boy! Look at that blush,’ Dawn thought as she glanced at her mother. ‘Gosh mom, dirty mind much?’

Any comment Joyce might have made was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot.

Dawn felt her body flood with icy panic at the sound

“What was that?” Joyce asked, her voice suddenly shrill.

‘Oh God! OhGodohGodohGodohGod...’ Dawn’s mind seemed stuck in neutral; that one thought- those two words- repeating over and over.

The sound was repeated as auto-fire began chattering from somewhere nearby.

“Rupert!” Joyce screamed, surging up off the couch.

‘No!’ Dawn’s mind shouted at her as she saw her mother rushing for the door. It was enough to break her body free of the paralyzing fear and she jumped up, grabbing her mother and yelling, “No Mom! You can’t! You might get hit!”

Just then the door crashed open and Giles darted inside. “Bloody hell!” he shouted, sounding enraged. “I am getting bloody well tired of people trying to kill us this week!”

Dawn goggled at the Watcher, ‘Joke? Giles made a joke?’

Joyce pulled free of Dawn’s suddenly lax grip and fairly leapt into her lover’s arms, crying, “Oh God Rupert, are you alright?”

“Yes, the protection spell worked rather marvelously.” He said, still clearly very angry.

“What happened?!” Dawn shouted, surging relief warring with the remnants of paralyzing fear and incredulity, leaving her light headed.

“Some Bloody Pillock on the roof across the street decided to bloody well shoot at me! That’s what happened!” Giles growled. Pushing away from Joyce, he almost grinned as he said, “They’re about to receive a rather nasty surprise, though. There’s a tunnel that opens up behind that building, and unless they can fly, they’re going to have to use the fire escape right next to it.”

Giles quickly ran into the bedroom he and Joyce shared and came out with his key crystal and pistol. “Stay put, the spell will protect you!” he said. Then he darted through a door along the back of the room.

“Oh God, be careful Rupert!” Joyce shouted after him, her voice laced with worry and fear.

‘I never thought I’d miss Sunnydale...’ Dawn thought as she dropped back onto the couch.

“Dawn, are you alright?” her mom asked, her voice now even more worried. “You’re awfully pale...”

‘Blurry...’ Dawn thought as everything around her seemed to grow unfocused.

Despite that, Dawn put on her ‘mom-smile’ and said, “I’m fine, mom, just a little...light hea...’

Her vision dimmed and then everything went dark.

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Chapter 3

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‘Well Faith, how do you feel now?’ the dark haired Slayer wondered as she looked through the open doorway.  ‘You always wondered what it would be like...’  She stood in the doorway for several moments just looking into the apartment that was once, briefly, her home.

‘Crap, how am I supposed to feel?’ she thought, annoyed with herself.  She deliberately stepped into the room and shut the door behind her.  ‘I never thought I’d see this place again...I...’  suddenly her stomach clenched into a painful knot, and a wave of combined anger, fear and sorrow crashed through her.

“Oh, God!” she hunched over, grabbing at her midriff and fighting back the urge to vomit as memories came crashing down in her head.

‘I said, “Thanks sugar-daddy...” God, I was gonna seduce him...I thought that’s what he wanted...what all men want,’ she remembered.  Looking around at the dusty room, untouched in years it seemed, the scene continued to play itself out in her head.  ‘I thought he loved me...I was so afraid when he said we had to kill Red, I was scared he’d stop loving me if I said no...then he didn’t even care, he just said he’d have vamps do it, even tried to make me feel better, like it was the way he wanted to do it all along...made me hate her even more cause I couldn’t do it myself.’

As Faith continued her perusal, the nausea seemed to subside a little and she stood up straight.

Her gaze moved around the room until she spied the still-broken window; someone had boarded it up to keep out the weather, but the image in her head was of that night.  “The night Buffy killed me,” she whispered.

Another cramping knot bent her in half, and this time she couldn’t hold back.  Her stomach emptied itself on the concrete floor, burning her esophagus with the pure acid, uncut by any food or drink.  Flashes of memory from the fight she and Buffy had engaged in lit up the darkness behind her eyelids every time she closed her eyes.  Dry heaves folded her in half and brought her to her knees.

‘Oh God I can feel it!’ she thought as each retch felt like that knife sliding into her gut all over again.  It was as though she was reliving that brief moment in time again and again.

As she had that night, Faith felt a moment of shock: ‘Christ, she’s actually gonna do it!’ Her body convulsed with pain as she relived the moment the blade pierced her skin, and it was as if she shattered. Three voices cried out at once- ‘I hate you!  I’ll kill you!’ her mind shrieked in rage. ‘Buffy, I love you!’ her heart screamed in desire. ‘Please! Kill me...’ her soul whispered, choking on the overwhelming remorse that filled her to bursting.

Heaves finally gave away to sobs and Faith fell over to her side and bawled.  “Oh God Buffy I love you so much!  I’m so sorry!” she cried out.

After several moments of uncontrollable tears, Faith dragged herself up and stumbled to the bathroom.  Keeping her eyes down so as not to see her reflection and the recrimination sure to be there, she turned on the cold water and started splashing water on her face and rinsing her mouth out.  When her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror, she stopped.

“I did the worst thing I coulda done.  Everything else was nothin’...I loved you so much and I made you hate me enough to kill me,” Faith whispered in agony.  Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest as she continued, “I wish I could change it...fix it.  God, I’d do anything...”

In her mind, she heard Buffy’s voice from their discussion atop the Hyperion earlier that week.

>>“You can’t.”

>>“You’re right, Faith,” Buffy had said.  “You can’t change a single thing you’ve done.  All you can do is be a better person, do the right thing from now on.”

‘I couldn’t believe it,’ Faith remembered her shock, this time for the opposite reason.  ‘I was sure she was gonna kill me again...’

>>“You’re a Slayer, Faith.  You can help us save the world.  Again.” Buffy had told her.

“And I did,” Faith told her reflection with a hint of satisfaction strengthening her voice.  “Fricken-A, we saved the world from the big bad hellbitch.”

Her reflection just stared back at her as it always did. ‘Not good enough Faith.  It doesn’t make up for what you did.’ The disapproving tone echoed in Faith’s mind.

A pang of guilt stifled the moment of pride in her voice.  “I know, but all I can do is what Buffy said, be a better person now.  Do the right thing now,” she told herself plaintively.

‘She’ll never love you,’ again her inner voice of self-loathing rang out.

The desire to argue the point flared for the barest instant before her shoulders fell and she sighed mournfully.  “No.  She won’t.  But maybe, someday...she might forgive me,” she finished in a whisper.

‘But can you ever forgive yourself?’

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“Ok, is it a Slayer thing, or a magic thing, or is there just something in the water?” Xander’s voice startled Tara into breaking off her passionate twining with Buffy’s tongue.

She could hear amusement and a touch of wistfulness in Xander’s voice as he continued teasing, “I mean, seriously, Will; I think you guys do it more that me and Anya ever did!”

“Xander!” Willow exclaimed in mock annoyance, slapping him on the arm. “At least we don’t uh, incessantly talk about it...in public...graphically!”

Tara smiled at the clearly false outrage in her lover’s voice. A shiver ran down her spine as Buffy nuzzled her neck. “Vixen!” she whispered, her outrage as insincere as Willow’s had been.

“That’s only cause you’re too busy actually doing it to spend any time talking about it,” Xander said.

“Aww, poor Xander...” Buffy’s voice was laden with saccharine sympathy.

‘I do feel for him,’ Tara thought as a momentary look of pure lust crossed Xander’s eyes as he focused on her and Buffy. ‘He definitely needs a girlfriend of his own so he can stop lusting after mine!’

Xander shook his head and changed the subject. He lifted the bag from Subway and proudly proclaimed, “The hunt was successful! Let us savor the bounty of the kill!”

Tara heard Buffy say, “Ooh, food!” and then she was just gone- leaping from the couch and plucking the bag from Xander’s hand, heading for the dining table all in the blink of an eye.

“Easy tiger,” Xander chuckled. He made a show of counting his fingers, saying, “Whew, thought I might have lost one there for a second!”

Tara rose from the couch with a little more grace than Buffy’s acrobatic performance. She slipped an arm around Willow’s waist and gave the redhead a quick kiss. “Hmm, what prize have the mighty hunters brought us?” she asked with quiet humor.

‘And could it possibly taste better than kissing you?’ she wondered.

Willow smiled happily and said, “We have slain the fearsome and terrible, though tasty, submarine sandwich beast!”

The thought of one of her favorites caused Tara’s stomach to growl slightly and she excitedly said, “Ooh, didja get me...”

“...Tuna and tomatoes, you know I did,” Willow answered with a grin.

“Yay!” Tara cheered happily and gave her pet’s pet a quick kiss. She blushed slightly at her own behavior and glanced toward Xander, explaining, “I just *love* tuna!”

Strangely, Xander’s eyes widened significantly and he bit his lip, as though trying to restrain himself from doing something. Tara tilted her head slightly, confused by his response. She turned to look at Willow and saw that the redhead was blushing deep-pink.

Suddenly, Xander let loose one barking laugh, then slapped his hand over his mouth. His eyes grew wide as saucers and he turned and quickly followed after Buffy.

Bewildered, Tara asked Willow, “What? What did I say?”

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“Dawn...Dawn...”

The voice calling her name barely registered on Dawn’s consciousness. Right now all she could focus on was the body laying at her feet.

Dead eyes stared into Dawn’s own, a ragged hole between them gaped obscenely, like a third eye gouged out. A pool of red ruin spread out on the ground like perversion of a halo- framing the dead man’s head.

“No...I didn’t...I didn’t want this...” Dawn whispered, her throat aching as though she’d been screaming her lungs out. Fear like ice-water flowed across her flesh, causing her to shiver violently.

The dead knight’s lips moved, and Dawn could hear the words in her head, even thought there was no sound. “You killed me.”

A flash of light and suddenly Dawn was there again, pulling the trigger as the knight charged her. Another flash and it was back to the body on the ground, staring accusingly at her with it’s dead eyes. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as thought it was trying to burst through her chest and escape.

“Dawn...Dawnie, honey...” the distant voice grew closer.

“Mom?” Dawn cried desperately, turning and trying to find the source of the voice. Something grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, eliciting a startled squeak. She opened her eyes to find her mother’s concerned face only inches from her own.

“Mom? What...?” Dawn shook her head, disoriented. Her pulse was throbbing fiercely in her throat and she didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings.

“Shh, Dawn, honey it’s ok. I’m here,” Joyce said soothingly.

Dawn’s breathing slowed as the décor filtered through her confusion and she remembered, ‘Huggybear’s house...right...’

“Giles?” Dawn asked, sitting up.

“I’m here Dawn,” Giles’ warm voice quietly reassured her.

‘Good...good, he’s back.’ Just knowing he was back in the house helped quiet Dawn’s panic.

“Are you alright, Dawn?” Giles asked.

She avoided his eyes and ignored the question by asking one of her own. “Did you get whoever was shooting?”

“Yes, I did. Now, tell me what happened to you?” Giles said, his voice quiet but the tone firm.

Dawn focused on her lap, picking at the fabric of the couch. “I don’t know...I got light headed I guess.”

“Sweetie, you passed out,” Joyce said. “You’ve been asleep for over an hour!”

‘Great, I scared Mom, which was the whole thing I was trying to not do!’ Dawn thought, frustrated and upset with herself.

Dawn put on a smile and tried to reassure her mother. “I guess I didn’t sleep very well, what with waiting to hear what happened last night...and I wasn’t really hungry this morning,” she said self deprecatingly. “I should have listened to you and ate something anyway.”

Fortunately, it seemed to work. Joyce immediately filled a plate with sandwiches and pushed it into Dawn’s hands, saying, “Well, let’s not have a repeat...I want you to eat something, Ok?”

Dawn picked up one of the sandwiches and forced another smile for her mom’s sake. “Sure, ok.” She took one bite and chewed it down before looking back to Giles and asking, “So, who’s trying to kill us now?”

The look in the Watcher’s eyes let Dawn know she wasn’t fooling him.

‘Well, I wasn’t trying to fool Giles,’ Dawn thought as she dropped her gaze again and concentrated on chewing and swallowing. ‘It’s a valid question though...’

After a moment, Giles answered her question, though through his tone of voice seemed intent on letting Dawn know there would be further discussion later of her blackout. “Unfortunately, I don’t know. Someone apparently hired this assassin through an intermediary, so he didn’t know the client’s identity himself.”

“Is it those knights?” Joyce asked tremulously, wringing her hands in her lap.

“They certainly have motive.” Giles stood up and began pacing as he continued, “I, however, cannot imagine the Knights of Byzantium using a third party. Also, it seems that I was the primary target, rather than Dawn, though he did have her photo as well...strangely, he had no instructions regarding you, Joyce.”

Dawn frowned when Giles mentioned photos. ‘How would...when did they take pictures? Where did they take our picture?’ she wondered, working the problem in her mind.

“Photo? You mean like surveillance pictures, right?” Dawn asked aloud. “Like someone’s been watching us?”

Giles stared blankly at her for a moment, before a look of shock came over his face. Shock gave way to anger and Dawn could see his jaw muscles working as he stripped off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Pillock!” he growled out through clenched teeth.

“Rupert, what is it, what’s wrong?” Joyce exclaimed, standing and gently grabbing the Brit’s arm.

“I’m a bloody idiot! That’s what’s wrong,” Giles said with a combination of irritation and embarrassment on his face. He focused on Dawn and said, “Thank you Dawn, I’m glad one of us is thinking clearly.”

‘Ok, huh?’ Dawn thought, confused. She looked to her mother and saw no more comprehension there.

“What do you mean, Giles?”

“Not surveillance photos. He had...I guess snapshots would be the word. Casual photos, where you knew you were being photographed...” he walked over to the kitchen table and opened a file folder, pulling out two pictures and bringing them back to the living area.

“I don’t understand, how would he get pictures like that?” Joyce said, dropping onto the couch next to Dawn.

“From our house,” Dawn said with a cold chill running through her. “Or from someone who knows us well enough to have pictures of us...”

“How? I...how?” Joyce asked plaintively. “Who? No one knows where we are...”

“Someone told the Knights where we were. Perhaps...” Giles stopped pacing and frowned in thought.

After several long moments, Dawn became impatient and said, “Giles, tell us!”

Apparently lost in thought, Giles started slightly at Dawn’s demand. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking...what if someone set the knights on us for their own reasons, independent of the Knight’s motivation...”

“And when they...failed...” Dawn continued the thought.

Giles nodded his head, finishing, “They sent someone else.”

‘Great, I thought it’d be over with Glory dead. It sounds like it’s just getting started,’ Dawn thought sadly.

========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ========== BtVS ==========

“Hey, anybody here?” Faith’s voice called out questioningly.

“Dining room Faith!” Buffy called out in response.

Tara laughed, adding, “You’d better hurry Faith; Xander and Buffy have been eyeing your sandwiches pretty hard...”

“Hey, I just didn’t want them going to waste,” Xander protested, failing to entirely hide his grin.

Tara looked over toward the great room where Faith was walking in and was struck by the look on her face. ‘She looks kinda down,’ Tara thought as her face came into light. ‘Wherever she went, I wonder what happened...’

“Hey, food. I’m always up for food, what’ja get?” Faith asked.

Tara frowned and noticed Xander doing the same. ‘Definitely not happy-Faith,’ she thought. ‘It kind of reminds me of how she was on the car ride from when we picked her up at the prison.

Willow seemed not to notice anything out of the ordinary as she responded, “Xander and I have slain the dreaded subway beast.

Tara saw Xander grin at the look of incomprehension on Faith’s face. “Yes, mighty hunters are we- and the bounty from our kill is this...” He said teasingly, grabbing the remaining two paper-wrapped bundles and pushing them towards the unoccupied chair beside him.

‘She seems almost like she’s afraid he’s going to do something, or say something bad...’ Tara thought as Faith raised an eyebrow and cautiously slid into the seat next to Xander. She continued to scrutinize him for a moment before she reached for the sandwiches.

Finally her face changed as she unwrapped the first sandwich. The look of worry dissolved into a grin and she laughed a little. “What kinda animal’s got eight balls?” she asked with amusement lacing her voice.

Xander started to laugh.

Tara felt herself blush slightly and a glance at her girls showed that they too were blushing.

Xander laughed even louder when he looked at the blushing triad.

Faith just began munching down the sub with gusto.

Despite her blush, Tara was pleased as she thought, ‘Now *that’s* what I’d expect from Faith!’

As she was about to take another bite, Faith suddenly frowned and looked toward the great room. “You guys expecting anybody?” she asked.

“A car just pulled up to the front,” Buffy added, obviously hearing the same thing as Faith.

“Who knows we’re here?” Willow asked with noticeable concern in her voice.

“No one but Deadboy’s crew and us know where we are,” Xander said as stood up and strode out of the room, angling for the hallway to the bedrooms.

‘Now everyone’s all worried,’ Tara thought, feeling the tension in the room.

A loud knock caused Tara to jump slightly. Faith and Buffy stood as one and headed for the front door. As Tara and Willow stood to follow, Tara noticed Xander walking across the greatroom towards the door as well.

‘Why does Xander have a gun?’ Tara wondered, noticing a large, black pistol tucked into his belt at the small of his back.

“Xander?” Buffy sounded anxious. “Why do you have that?”

“It’s daylight, so not a vamp. The only way I can figure someone or something knows where we are, is if they followed us from either Glory’s, or from your house last night,” Xander explained. “So, if one of her scabby little minions is at the door, I thought I’d say ‘hi’.”

Faith and Buffy took positions on either side of the door while Xander cautiously approached. His right hand was on the gun in his belt, his left hand stretched out to the doorknob.

Tara grabbed Willow’s hand and laced their fingers together. ‘Oh, sweaty palm...’ she thought, feeling somehow reassured that Willow was as nervous as Tara was herself.

Tara looked back to the door in time to see Xander yank it open and take a step back. He had drawn the pistol almost completely from his pants when he paused, then put it back as he tipped his head back in laughter.

Faith and Buffy visibly relaxed and peaked around the door frame.

Both intrigued, and relieved, Tara pulled Willow along to see who was at the door.

“Um...Hi, I’m with Classic Couriers...” said the woman at the door with a surprised and wary look on her face.

Xander’s voice was sheepish as he quit laughing and said, “Sorry, we weren’t really expecting anybody...”

The delivery woman nodded her head slowly, as though she thought she just might be dealing with an insane person. “Uh huh. Ok, no problem...” She looked down at her clipboard and asked, “Um, is there a Tara McLay here?”

Tara frowned, thinking, ‘Why on earth would she be looking for me?’

Tentatively, the blond witch stepped forward, saying, “I’m Tara...”

“I have a package for you Ms. McLay,” the woman said, now sounding cool and professional. “If I could just get you to sign right here,” she said, pointing to her clipboard.

“Um, ok?” Tara said as she did just that.

The delivery woman took back the clipboard and handed Tara a manila envelope. “Here you are, have a nice day,” she said, turning and quickly walking back to her truck.

“What is it?” Willow asked as the Scoobies all crowded around.

“Who sent it?” Buffy asked, her voice sounding young and curious.

Tara couldn’t help but grin at Buffy’s tone. ‘Such a little girl sometimes- a sexy little girl...’

“I don’t know what it is, and it’s not marked who it’s from,” Tara said, refocusing on the matter at hand.

“Well, open it already,” Faith said impatiently. “Then you’ll know what it is, and maybe who it’s from.”

“Yes, Faith. I wouldn’t have thought of that on my own.” Tara smirked as she turned and walked over to the dining table; four curious Scoobies in tow.

She sat down and was about to tear the envelope open when Xander suddenly said, “Wait a minute, what if it’s evil?”

The other girls joined Tara in giving Xander a skeptical, questioning glance.

“I mean, like, maybe it’s booby trapped, you know...like magically of something?” Xander explained sheepishly, ducking his gaze.

“I don’t feel any magic...” Tara said, a little hesitantly. “Why did you think...?”

“I...it’s just,” Xander appeared to have difficulty expressing his reasoning. “Who would send you anything...here I mean? No one’s supposed to know we’re here...”

Tara dropped the envelope on the table and pulled her hands away without conscious thought. “That’s true...” she began, suddenly concerned.

“I dunno, I’m not getting any ‘evil vibes’ or anything,” Faith spoke up. “I mean, you gotta point, no one know’s we’re her ‘cept Angel and them guys...maybe it’s from him?”

“Yeah, no wiggy vibes here either,” Buffy offered. “We could call Angel, I guess.”

Tara smiled at the hesitancy in Buffy’s voice. ‘A sensitive subject still, I guess,’ she thought. ‘After all, it was only a couple of days ago that she took a pretty severe paddling for getting involving with him without my permission...’

Tara gave her lover’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I think you’re right Faith, it must be from them in LA, no one but them knows we’re here, and if it’s not magical, and it’s not setting off any Slayer sense, I think we can open it...” she finished, looking at Xander with a gentle smile. “Not that being cautious is a bad thing...”

“No, you’re probably right. It’s probably from deadboy...” Xander said looking a little self-conscious.

‘I’m sure it’s safe,’ she told herself as she slid a finger into the flap and tore the top open. If her hand happened to tremble just a bit as she did so, Tara carefully ignored it.

When nothing untoward happened, Tara released the breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding, and dumped the contents of the envelope onto the table. There was a smaller envelope, such as would hold a card that might come with a bouquet, and a thick paper which was folded in thirds.

“Well, nothing went ‘boom’,” Buffy quipped, breaking the silence.

“Well, that’s good!” Willow said, a note of genuine relief noticeable through the humor in her voice.

“You think we’re getting a little paranoid?” Tara chuckled.

“The quest