live poetry

it’s nothing to think of me as

crazy or dangerously acting mad

angry and sad and confused

it’s not supposed to make sense

nothing ever does

ever will or will you

turn from me in a fleeting moment of

disparity that burns you

like you burned me, bragged about me

beat me with mental retardation

and a five dollar bill

what sort of game is this

rolling dice and laying down pairs

legs spread open like gaping wounds

to be fondled and fucked and sucked

torn open and blamed for the dishes

the war, the sand in the carpet

rough like crushed velvet

crushed between your stares

your mistaken identity refusing to

identify me to lie to me to

plus two more

unhappy trio without pain enough

to break free and flee and

now we five live separately

with legs pulled beneath watching Saturday TV.

eating hot wings and beer, birthday cake,

cold sandwiches and pickles by the lake

frost in the morning on windows

made to see out of, but blinded

by steal bars and candy cane lovers

bearing pills and stethoscopes

cold on feverish skin

or your hard rubber rod

silent, smooth, motionless

this is how we remember and mourn

smiling too because pain causes all to leave

begin again, start anew

cast off the spells that held my head

against your dinner plate as you ate

with the fork that I hold now to scratch your image

from my skin where I burned and blistered

in your merry-go-round torture

========== RedWillow ==========