hypocrite

a hypocrite lives here
with clipped wings and painted nails,
black like your heart and my shiny smile;
twisting, reaching for the spotlight that herded us
like sheep before the slaughter.

i am my mother’s daughter
in instinct and despair
if not in action.

your offered shots were sweet,
‘though dark and tainted like your meaning.
smiling and delighted by the prospect we handed over our money
still fearing pretty little pills
and the legacy of my blood.

won’t you just beat me?
won’t you just fuck me?
won’t you just leave me here to bleed?

heavy the beating heart.
the terrible, screaming, painful heart.
unable to breathe or move;
tearing, slicing thick the sheets that cover
an entire world beyond the body.

tell me I was good.
tell me I was the best you ever had.
tell me I even exist to you anymore.

========== RedWillow ==========